The Silent Mirror
Sit comfortably on the floor, or on a chair in a comfortable upright position. Close your eyes and get quiet. Visualize a large mirror sitting in front of you. This mirror will reflect your true nature.
Repeat silently to yourself, “I am a happy, healthy, whole person.” Meditate on the meaning of that phrase silently. Notice how it feels. The goodness, the wholeness, the satisfaction, the warmth it brings. Are there any thoughts that come to the surface which contradict this warm feeling? Perhaps a thought comes up like “I feel unhappy when I get a bad grade on a test.” So let’s use the a Four Questions and turnarounds to examine that thought. Is it true that the bad grade makes you unhappy? Can you absolutely know it’s the bad grade that’s bothering you? What happens when you get the bad grade? You then think about how your family is going to react. You think they might be disappointed in you. So it’s not the grade at all, it’s your belief that someone will be disappointed. The grade is irrelevant. As long as you are worried about disappointing someone else, you will suffer. It’s not your task to worry about what others think. What others think is irrelevant. It’s your task to utilize your learning opportunities in whatever way you see fit. What others think about your grades isn’t your problem.
Without the thought “someone will be disappointed” you would go on and live your life without suffering. So it’s not your grades that need to change, it’s your attachment to the thought “someone will be disappointed.” Let’s take a look in the mirror and see just how untrue this thought is. Turn this statement around and say the opposite. What are the other ways you could say this?
- No one will be disappointed in me.
- I will be disappointed in me.
- I will not be disappointed in me.
- I will be disappointed in everyone else.
- I will not be disappointed in anyone.
I hope it’s obvious to you which one of these statements is the true one. There’s no reason to be disappointed in anyone, including yourself. People are going to think whatever they think. There’s no reason to be disappointed because they do. It’s simply not relevant. Let them think what they want. If you have this deep craving for people to validate you, and you think you need their approval, then you’ve got a lot of work to do. No one else’s opinion matters but yours.
Take that statement “I will not be disappointed in anyone” and hold it in your heart. Feel the warmth and acceptance of this statement. It makes you more accepting of yourself, and more accepting of others. It feels good to be accepting. It feels like your true nature.
Now just sit quietly and meditate. Don’t focus on random thoughts that may enter your mind. If a thought comes in, simply acknowledge it’s existence and let it flow past you. No matter what thought comes in, you are accepting. You don’t berate yourself for having thoughts. Don’t judge yourself. Simply let the thoughts go, and go back to sitting quietly. Focus on your breathing, and the calm acceptance you feel.
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